Whether we are healthy or not, rich or poor, young or old.
There are times that we have to fall lower than we have ever been, to stand up taller than we ever were.
There are times we need to rise up by ourselves and live the reality that there is no back up coming along the way.
We have to fall down,
And realize that…
Falling down is a part of someone’s life, to rise up is life.
Life can be explained in many ways.
It’s definition is vague.
Yet, one thing that it is clear — in life we need to go through some pain.
You think that killing yourself would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem?
Stop giving up hope.
And start giving in to life’s biggest risk.
It is enriching our life.
It is in fact much more rewarding.
Will you choose to take the risk?
We all make choices.
You have a choice each and every single day.
And everything we do in life is done by the choices we make.
Whatever happened in our life is the by-product of the choices we’ve made.
Some consequences bring sheer bliss.
You have cancer.
You are hoping for the best while planning for the worst.
Sometimes this too much pain we don’t even want to tell everyone, even our loved ones, friends, or doctors.
It steals our happiness.
It steals our hair, money, family, pleasure in life that puts us up to anxiety, depression, hopelessness, our ability to do well and accomplish our task or unable to make a good decision.
Please, try to understand the pain we feel.
You may never fathom how intense and agonizing we may feel.
Just be there.
Whether you can’t utter any words from your mouth. You will perfectly express the right words at the right time.
Your silence is enough.
Your presence is enough.
Your actions can have a huge impact on a mundane life I am now going through.
Know that this pain not only hurts physically, it also leads to depression, isolation, or anxiety.
We need time.
We need time to reduce this pain and rebuild ourselves.
We also want to live a normal life like you.
We know we have hope despite of pain.
Hope is something we desire and expect with.
Like you, we want to have a chance to be normal like you…
We were once a normal person with a job.
We were once a normal person who loves to watch TV, go out and meet some friends.
We were once a normal person who thinks life is perfectly fine.
Until one day,
We started to learn new words such as metastatic or sarcoma.
We spend our time in the hospital or in our bedroom.
We still want to have a normal life despite all of this.
Raise our own kids, grow old and see our grandkids, too.
We want a chance to be just like you.
Who can still make more achievements like you do.
Sometimes, we wish to want back what cancer took away.
Like you, we want to feel our lives have a purpose…
Having a purpose in life seems impossible for us who endures a chronic pain with a chronic illness.
Yet hope has given us to find our life’s purpose.
Having hope may endure the misery of our treatment.
That we many able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You can give us your definitions of hope.
We always expect of good things that are yet to be — to achieve our desired goal.
And find meaning in our family, friends and even in my cancer experience.
We never truly know another’s pain carry, until then…
We find a new level of value to life itself.
By simply making a choice to stop and smell the plumeriawe see along the road.
By looking up to see the color of the sky when the sun is setting.
By listening to the sound of raindrops.
By admiring someone’s kindness.
By feeding stray animals.
By appreciating someone’s unexpected help.
In doing this, we find more meaning in life…
We try to understand the greater purpose or reason behind this illness and what it means to our life now.
We try to explore more feelings about cancer and how I react to every pain I feel daily.
We try to identify that cancer should, in fact, a life-changing experience that makes us wanted to understand more about the effect of this illness in my life.
Suddenly a gradual change in our interest and priorities that used to be not important before our cancer.
It brings means to understand our life and to find a way of healing — within.
Until such time,
We allow ourselves to feel the pain instead of hiding it.
We embrace pain and burden to fuel our journey to a new normal life.
We accept this experience that will help us find and go through to the detoxifying vitality of life — that lead us to one of the rightful things that can occur to us in our life, if…
…we let it in.
“We hide the pain in the weirdest places
Broken souls with smiling faces
Fighting for surrender
For now and the after, yeah
Just look around and you’ll see that people
Are scared to say how they really feel
Oh, we all need a little honesty”
Chronic pain is one of the hardest battles of any person that endures chronic illness. Having a positive life for most people who experience excruciating pain every day — seems impossible, but this may take time to reverse what we expect the least. Some may be able to win this battle against chronic pain, some may give up. The author somehow wanted to extend a great hope for everyone, especially for those who are now experiencing a great pain. And to let everyone knows that killing oneself is not the option of a hope offered in life.
Have you had any loved ones who now keep battling to beat the pain? They deserve to have a life brighten up — not to live with the dark.
If so, please share with us! Leave a comment below!
This was the exact sentence from another cancer survivor to me in one of the fora in the social media where we share experiences and victories.
I shared my latest blog, a letter to my friend whose cancer is back right after her second surgery with her recurrence tumor in the thyroid in the same forum I mentioned earlier and received very helpful comments afterward.
“Please take some time to go see her even if all you do is sit and hold her hand.”
“If you can, go and cry with her. Then talk, then cry some more, then encourage her that you will be there. In spirit if not always in body. If you can only text or write, that’s okay. Just tell her she is not alone and you will stay to whatever the end is, whenever it is. Then do it. It’ll make all the difference for her and you. Let her know, she can say anything. You won’t leave.”
These are the first two bits of advice I received from one of the most courageous people across the globe.
Their words are powerful to help another, to encourage another.
Similarly with what Karla Kay said during our previous interview,
“Until you hear those 3 words, you have no idea how you would handle anything!”
True! Even the three little word – CANCER – is powerful to devastate our world. However, this word will just be a trifle with the powerful words of those people surrounded by someone has cancer.
Someone that is ready to answer without making the understanding difficult.
People need people.
An approval, comfort, or encouragement from other people is vital to human health, both mentally and physically. With the help of social interaction, people can express their feelings and share their problems with other people.
Not just any social support, it must be a good social support that can help someone coping with stress, major life changes (like divorce, moving house, migrating, and so on…) or chronic illnesses.
It has been proved by many researchers and studies that the most lonely people more often are afflicted with health and mental problems such as cardiovascular problem, stress, anxiety, and depression.
“No man is an island.”
Just like what the famous proverb goes, “No man is an island”. Knowing that we are being thought of and valued by few people who are close to us is an essential psychological factor in helping us to ignore the negative aspects of our lives, and thinking more positively about our environment.
Friends and family are there to reduce the stress that we are enduring that can boost our confidence and gives us great motivation not to give up easily.
Having said that, in the reality of life, there are some circumstances that we cannot always expect a great encouragement from our friends and family.
Instead, these are the people we expect the least.
They are the ones who unselfishly keeping us the fight toward the victory.
They are once strangers in our life which turns into someone we can always run to.
Not all of us have the toughness to open our hearts and share our feelings and problems.
Not all of us have the courage to be upfront to share our raw feelings.
There are people who find it difficult to process their feelings and communicate to others, yet they are still misunderstood.
More so, the lack of interaction of these kinds of people can negatively lead to first signs of depression and anxiety.
Don’t waste your time.
Whenever you know someone who is suffering from life-threatening conditions such as cancer, a strong human connection can help the recovery and even enhance the quality of their life, which is very important for a seriously ill or mentally unhealthy person.
If you know one, go and make them feel that they should not be alone carrying all the burdens they are bearing.
You’ll never tell how you can improve their well-being that affects their immune system as well.
Your words and actions can be a great moment of truth for them.
It is never too late to do anything if you start doing it now. Especially, helping someone in the core of deep sadness.
Have you made yourself a great influence and positive impact on someone’s life? Have you been part of someone else’s turning point in life? Have you brightened up their dark days? Have you snatched them out from the abyss of loneliness?
If so, please share with us! Leave a comment below!
My thoughts… are just everywhere. I could not even focus. My mind is blinded, racing, and beating right out of my chest.
I had been diagnosed with cancer, I followed all the treatments. Now, I’m back home, I can go back to work.
I am not even sure if I will miss my old before my cancer. I embraced my cancer, but I am not living with cancer.
Oh, so you’re still alive, how unfortunate are you!
You are wrong.
Cancer sucks and so as anxiety or depression.
Wait… depression? Don’t get me wrong. I am referring to depression that is more common for everyone even for those people who don’t have cancer.
Depression is not the same as clinical depression. But, if you just let yourself go deeper into different symptoms of depression, you will be more likely stuck in a major depression.
To be honest, if you are gonna ask me how I’m doing, it is a question that I just really want to give a reply.
But if I won’t reply, you will misunderstand me and you will start to drift apart.
Do you think it is easy to answer this question for a cancer survivor? Because you know what? For a cancer survivor like me, I choose not to talk about my cancer and allow me to live my new life with the same people who used to surround me.
Oh, yes, I got it. Some of you will not eventually stay, well, this is my new life!
We choose not to talk about our cancer because this is one of the ways we can cope easily.
You may think that I give up, well, it’s the only way to survive.
I prefer to stop thinking about my cancer, meet new friends, go somewhere I have never been and do things I have never done.
**In one of my research results reveals that depression is more common for people with cancer who often struggle with uncertainty, challenges, and fear that a cancer diagnosis can bring.
According to Cancer.net, depression is a collection of symptoms that group into 4 categories: mood-related, cognitive, physical and behavioral. Because cancer and cancer treatment can cause similar cognitive and physical symptoms as depression. More emphasis is placed on the mood-related and behavioral symptoms for people with cancer.
What are the symptoms?
Mood-related symptoms: feelings of sadness, hopelessness, irritability, numbness, or worthlessness.
Cognitive symptoms: they are related to a person’s thought process, it decreases the ability to concentrate, difficulty making decisions, memory problems, and negative thoughts (severe depression can include thoughts of suicide).
Behavioral symptoms: crying often, social withdrawal, loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed and a loss of motivation.
So what are the common ways doctors treat people with depression (the first 2 points can be done carefully even without doctor’s endorsement)?
Emotional and social support can help people better cope with the daily challenges that cancer brings.
Main treatments are counseling and medication (sometimes both, but must be done by a qualified doctor).
A talk with a counselor or a right person/friend (for mild depression).
The main goal of counseling is to enhance coping in problem-solving skills, help find support and reshape negative self-defeating thoughts.
There are numbers of counseling options: individual counseling, couples or family counseling and group counseling.
The following are just the inescapable facts of everyone’s life that we cannot change.
You may not have cancer but you are in pain. It may not every day like how a cancer patient feels but it is clear that we cannot stay away from sadness, worthlessness, or anxiety.
Suffering, regardless, it is something that we can be in charge of. We always have the option to stay happy than to be stuck in an utterable turmoil of depression or anxiety.
And only yourself can do that. Your friends and families’ support is more than enough but it’s useless if you already made a choice inside. And that is, to be filled with sadness and negativities.
It is not easy, being happy does not happen in just one snap, but if you are decided after making a choice to turn your life upside-down.
You can see the beauty of the process of taming your brain’s emotional response. Whatever life throws at you, you will always keep returning to a conscious and mindful state of mind. And you will be able to recognize your emotions within yourself and even in others and to manage them daily.
Any thoughts you want to share regarding your struggle and struggle with anxiety and depression?
Back from those days where I was afraid to deal with anything real until I’ve got to face a painful reality that I could not really imagine how to deal with.
What’s the painful reality? That I — am sick, alone, and dying — anytime soon!
Hearing those three little words, “You have cancer” makes me confused and scared that I could not bear to tell anyone.
Back from those days where I — was — a person who cannot tame my brain’s emotional response. Where in every positive or negative pitch life has given, I usually tend to react where I tend to judge either myself or other people and make a comparison from everyone that surrounds me or even to myself.
Now, that I had come to realize that I needed to claim this. This was very hard. For how many times I need to deal with myself, I have to claim my cancer. I have to accept this painful reality.
Accepting this painful reality of having cancer, another painful reality arises. Where anxiety, depression, sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness are limitless and uncontrollable.
Being diagnosed with cancer and a crisis management in dealing emotions and stress are both closely associated with each other.
Six months of treatment, from my surgical removal to acupuncture (6 sessions) and the last was radiation therapy (35 sessions).
Of all these treatments I had gone through, the surgery — it did not only cut my skin and left a scar but also cut me off from certain friends or even family members. The acupuncture — it did not only stabbed my body with needles and left blood in certain areas of my body but also stabbed my heart for this is not the life I was expecting. The radiation therapy — it did not only burn my skin but also burned my soul. I feel like I was already doomed to death — but, I have to suffer first!
Now, treatment was done, and everyone thought, “I’m okay”! Everyone thought that I was so fortunate that I was able to beat cancer!
Yes — my battle with cancer was done. But, the battle with depression has continued.
Well, even I — I thought I was okay, too. Until then, I went back to Vietnam after my treatment in the Philippines. I felt so sorry and embarrassed whenever friends and colleagues tell me each time they meet me that I lose weight. You know what’s more annoying? When they did not tell me those the same words, once — in fact, twice, thrice or umpteenth times! No matter how I convince them I was okay and I am just coping, there are still those people who get on my nerves.
So there you see, my reaction after those people keep telling me how I lose weight, or worse is I still look “sick”.
I was even confused how to act being tough whenever I was pounded with negative questions people were asking me for being mentally strong.
Until I realized that I have to stay away from these people, try to manage my emotions and learn how to understand, accept, and manage my feelings first.
For 5 months, after I was able to go back to Vietnam, I tried to cut off some people from my circle. Though things did not go well as I wish to happen, with perseverance, I was able to deal the rollercoaster ride and started being mindful and managed my emotions especially when it is in crisis.
For 5 months, I learned deeper about guided imagery. It is a mental imagery process where sometimes it is commonly called as guided meditation, visualization, mental rehearsal, and guided-hypnosis. Where it follows the usual process: the correct posture (vertical position, either sitting on a chair or a floor or lying down on a bed), eyes closed and breathing.
I have been doing this for almost 5 months — quietly. I started doing this after I did some research and I decided to make this practice a part of coping with my cancer journey.
As I continue doing the practice of guided imagery, it taught me about being mindful and non-reactive to every situation I might put up with.
Mindfulness — knowing what is going on at the moment. Being present with the “now” instead of looking back to the past or being anxious to the present.
Non-reaction where it helps me to deepen the connection I have with myself especially to my emotions. Whatever may happen in my surroundings it is up to me if I will react or not. Whether it could be positive or negative.
Well, I don’t mean that if I am very grateful for someone’s good deed towards me, I will not show a euphoric feeling at that very moment. Of course, I must show my appreciation in order to continue a good relationship with anyone I am connected with.
It is necessary to remember as well to make everything in balanced whether it could be a good or bad experience. Our life is constantly changing. And if we are not able to control how we react, an attachment is connected to our emotions and without being aware of, we already place expectations to the other person.
And when we seeded expectations, that someone who used to make you happy at some point will make you upset and disappointed. Eventually, it will create a negative impact and the separation from others who you used to be closed with begins. Either they will stop talking, create a space in between and keep a distance from you or worse get into an argument. And these are not healthy and helpful for someone who is coping with cancer treatment.
Each one of us is responsible for the way we react to different life’s circumstances, so instead of reacting, we may shift this into a response that is able for you or me to create a more balanced state of conscious and non-reactive mind.
That is why we meditate. We breathe in as we feel the tension, and breathe out to release that tension.
Likewise, if there is any negative pitch had thrown to me, I choose to stay positive and move forward.
Now, when I am being asked randomly, why I am so calm now to any circumstances I am facing. Well, I am doing this for myself first because I respect and honor my body and second to take care each relationship I am involved to anyone around me, whether it could be a colleague, friend or family.
I am just a human being, sometimes I missed to remind myself to be mindful and non-reactive.
Although I had already learned enough from practicing this guided imagery and benefitted positive result from it, there are also times that I get anxious, sad or hopeless.
But the only good thing is, with enough information how guided imagery has helped me cope with my cancer journey, it is always there to remind me to pause or stop whenever I was in the state of negativity or toxicity.
This article is only a testimony how guided imagery works (especially guided meditation) for the author while she was coping with her cancer journey. According to one of her research results, one of the articles from cancer.net, had indicated that as many as 15-25% of people with cancer experience depression and it is more common for people with cancer who often struggle with uncertainty, challenges and fear that a cancer diagnosis can bring. And she is hoping that this article might give some convincing impression that can convey them that this practice can help identify and manage their emotions while facing cancer treatment and will not add to the burden of battling cancer.
There are other ways to treat and manage the rising crisis of emotions. Stay tuned, for this will be the next article soon.
Any thoughts you want to add from your own experience regarding with the practice of guided imagery?
The Diagnosis MPNST (Malignant Peripheral Nerve Sheath Tumor) high-grade in sternum area and low-grade in the left thigh, May 20, 2016.
The Decisive Moment I did many surgeries from 1st grade, middle school, and even after my college. Since I was young, I’ve got a number of lumps forming in my body.
My family was very worried so they brought me to the doctor for a biopsy. An excision biopsy was done and the result was eventually okay.
Unfortunately, the number of lumps growing in my body grew more each year. So, I was required for another surgical removal especially on my right abdomen.
My surgical removal happened for 3 times already but then, another lump grew on a different site.
Until then, the doctors were able to give their final diagnosis, I have Neurofibromatosis since I was still in college.
I tried to make research over the Internet and look for the common symptoms. I realized then that my cancer is genetic and I got this from my grandfather from my father’s side.
Most of my lumps previously were all benign, until a tumor appears from a different site and it turns out to become malignant.
After having many surgeries done since I was young, I even look like a rag doll already, but it’s fine as long as the results are good.
Despite the fact that I am living with cancer, I never let cancer define me.
I successfully completed my nursing degree and I work as a nurse for 6 years after college. I am PDN (Private Duty Nurse) to a cancer patient with a terminal case which I took care of her for only 4 months. Then, as a caregiver in the western part of the globe and a medical nurse in the middle east.
Like you, I also have many plans for me and my family. Like giving them all the best from the only daughter that they ever had. Until this had happened. It seems unfair but I never allow this illness hinder my plans.
When I figured out that I have another tumor on my left thigh and on my sternum, it was so difficult to believe that it happened again. But then I just ignored it.
When I was working in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I notice that the tumor grows bigger than the last time I checked it from the same site (in my sternum). It’s very uncomfortable for my job. I was thinking to go back to the Philippines to have this check.
The onset from dealing with cancer diagnosis is also a beginning of a “lonely” journey and battle.
It’s not only me, but everyone passed through the revelation of our biopsy, we suddenly shut the world down and isolated ourselves from everyone.
For more than two years I began my cancer journey, I saw myself first terrified with the unexpected path I have to stray off and also have met families and friends walking the same frightening pathway.
Do you know what we immediately see at the end of our trail?
Receiving a diagnosis that there is a tumor growing inside our body or the exact word “CANCER” is the most life-shattering experience we could ever have.
Literally, it smashes out our freedom since these tiny abnormal cells that have uncontrollably divided into our body are growing fast and aggressively.
It suddenly stirs up unexplained and unstable feelings which we don’t even know how to explain it to everyone so we prefer to — CUT PEOPLE LOSE even those who are close to us.
For most of us, having had terrifying medical experiences in the past and a memory that is not really pleasant we usually avoid keep talking about cancer because we need to move on.
Thinking or talking about our cancer can trigger an emotional wound that could overwhelm us with an intensity of emotion that is too deep for words.
It is very fortunate for some that are able to receive a lot of comfort and assistance from organizations and support systems where they could have a privilege to have a grounded life despite the threat of cancer. Where they can receive a complete aid whether in financial, personal, social and emotional aspect.
But, not everyone can have that kind of very fortunate encounter. Still, some of them are living in the dark right from the first day they found out that they have cancer.
This is why I am writing this and you should consider about keeping a cancer journal.
You could be a patient, survivor, or carer.
No one should make an excuse because the fact is, anyone must realize that even we are already in the abyss of this deadly disease, you are still able to find hope and light by writing your cancer journey.
You don’t have to share your journal with everyone. It’s always your choice if you want few people to read your thoughts and feelings that you want to write down as you face this dreadful journey.
As for me, I did not start having this blog and writing numbers of articles “out of the blue”.
I was able to start this bloggingout from the thought of sharing my first few journals that I wrote before when I had cancer.
I even never thought of sharing my entire journey to everyone. Until, one day, I did.
I wanna make your first journal writing with these few and simple steps:
Start with a few sentences (describe what you actually feel now).
Be open and honest (just like you are talking to yourself in the mirror).
Take your time and enjoy the process (little you might even know that you already write many sentences).
What matters here is yourself. You are doing this by helping your journey easy through reflecting on what’s happening. This is just for you not for other people, so throw all those doubts and worries out the window!
Please don’t think that because you have cancer, you suddenly become a private individual that could not live a life like a normal person that can do anything in life because you think they are healthier than you.
I know for some of you, you are still in the process of accepting this unwanted fate.
Seems impossible to start your cancer journal, I understand.
But writing your journey will somehow give you a chance to slow down and think about the positive things that still happen; despite cancer gives you enough reason to be negative and just give up the fight.
So take your time and never raise that white flag yet.
Please do think as well that having cancer means, it teaches us to be mindful of our life instead of doing anything that we please carelessly before our diagnosis.
What’s more? If you are good at drawing, painting, or any creative skills that you have, you can add it to your journal to make you more inspired.
REMEMBER: Cancer could not simply overthrow your creative skills.
Why not defeat cancer by using your creativity? Knowing that only you can do this, it’s a plus that makes you unique!
And, if you are not quite sure what to write, you can start writing some simple prompts such as:
What are you thankful for today?
What do you want to do today?
What are you worried now?
What makes you sad/happy?
Are you ready to get a pen and notebook to start your first cancer journal? It’s never too late for everyone.
Any thoughts you want to add? Just leave your comments below.
For someone who has cancer like me, I am very grateful that you come and visit me in the hospital. Thank you for the cards, a bouquet of flowers and fruits you brought. Glad you initiated a campaign or a fundraising for me – WITHOUT ASKING. I would have said no if you ask me before you did that.
Don’t get me wrong, the phrases, “Let me know what I can do to help” or “Don’t hesitate to call on me” does not mean are not very helpful. Well, I respect your thoughtfulness. But, tell you what, I’m not going to give a reply with what you are asking me. No matter how much you have shown your good intentions, I doubt that would even turn out to be very much helpful because my mind is already filled up with many stuff, negative emotions, and physical discomfort.
I do appreciate and love when you take charge and just do things out of your intention of helping. According to psychological learning, when people are in difficulties or in calamities, the logical part of their brain doesn’t operate well. So, when you ask me what do I need, it will be just a waste all the time. I will not even be able to think of what I need! What will more likely happen is I will be terribly worn out, so giving you a suggestion what you can do to help me is — POINTLESS.
I am not either demoralizing your desire to help, so instead of saying those phrases, I would rather admire if you could say, “I will try my best to help you by any means.” Act your plan even without telling me or anyone what you want to do. If you have many options and you think they are all doable, try to do them one at a time. Bringing foods that prepared by yourself (I appreciate if it’s health-wise), a simple visit (that would be lovely), an errand (taking care of my hospital records or any help you could offer), financial help, or to stay awake each time I need a hand in the middle of the night or early morning. Whatever mood you can bring into my hospital room or bedroom they are all great offers.
However, there are times that I really need to be alone especially when I am not feeling well. You may make a surprise visit, but I may not be able to appreciate it since I feel like I need to stay awake just to talk to you when I really need to nap or sleep because it might burden me with more stress.
To avoid misunderstandings I want to give you some ideas to have a mutual agreement between us:
I will be pleased to be informed which day and what time you are available. You can give me a ring or send SMS prior to that.
You can be specific what you can offer to help. A good and effective discussion will be much more helpful and will not suffer our relationship either.
Make up your mind once we had agreed your visitation or offer to help and give it a go. Be there and do it!
And finally, when you feel doubt, please do tell me. If my medical situation makes you feel unbearable or you don’t have any idea what to help but you really want to give me a leg up, just say your case. Just don’t disappear and make me wonder why I never hear any single word from you since the time I was diagnosed with cancer. That would be more upsetting on my part and there will be more misinterpretations that might come along the way that might completely wreck the good relationship we used to build because of a lack of communication.
A simple conversation, hug — if words are nowhere to find or just being there even you can’t say anything is enough. Your presence is enough and your support will never end there.
Disclaimer: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT MEAN TO BE ABOUT MYSELF. I opt to use the first-person singular pronoun “I” to make this more personal to the reader who has cancer or a survivor and the second-person singular pronoun “you” to someone who is willing to help but no idea what and how to and hoping that somehow this could make an impact on every reader.
Do you feel the same way when somebody offers a help that way? Let me know your thoughts, write your comment below. Thank you.
It’s just the way that you’re feeling now. It might just change somehow.
So, I was inspired today to write this article about feelings. After publishing two more interviews recently, I always think to offset from one blog to another. Like after writing a kind of downcast personal story, another lighthearted article must follow. I don’t want my audience to feel so abounding by keep bringing out survivors’ story.
So how did I come up with this topic? I was in the middle of my class with my preschool students and played a YouTube video about emotions. I was caught up between the lyrics of the song, which of course I am gonna share some parts of the lyrics with you.
I’m happy, she’s mad. I’m a boy, she’s a girl. And this is the world. I’m hungry, he’s thirsty. I’m sick, and he’s tired. He’s a boy, I’m a girl. And this is the world.
You get happy, you get sad. You get angry, you get mad. You go to bed, then you wake up. You might be just OK. It’s just the way that you’re feeling now. Wait a while. It might just change somehow.
It’s just the way that you’re feeling. The feeling may be fleeting. Here’s one second then it’s gone. We’re feeling feelings every day. We’re experiencing emotions along the way. Some are good and some are bad. Some wish you never had.
But, hey! That’s just the way we’ve got to play.
If all of us could realize, how amazing the ability of the children to extend their hope to every adult, their happiness, and their potential to adapt to change with ease. These children have the desire to live, to know and they are the perfect example of daily entertainment.
As a preschool teacher, I had witnessed how my adorable kids in the classroom manage to alter a negative feeling into a positive one. When someone gets angry, a simple hug could easily relieve their feelings. There are so many lessons to learn from them, if you just could realize this, you might wish to go back to being a little more like them!
I list down some keen observation about my preschool students for a year that we are together:
None of them are afraid of new happenings.
Have you ever felt sorry about the things that you are supposed to do but never did it ever? Don’t let yourself get caught with the phrase “what if…”. It’s always better to regret what you’ve done than what you haven’t done. It’s always better to fail than to doubt.
They are always curious.
Newton was curious and discovered gravity. Well, we don’t have to be like Newton, though. But being curious about learning new things like the children do leads towards self-fulfillment. Discovering new places to visit is one, for example.
In other words, seize the day! Children don’t let the moment slip away; instead, they take advantage of each moment.
Take advantage of the good times, the bad ones will change somehow. The next day will be fine. Live, enjoy and take advantage of your time!
When you are sick or lost a loved one, you might notice how much time you took for granted. Everything is moving quickly and we should be aware of that.
They love fearlessly.
The older we get, the more scared we are to fall in love. Well, maybe for some reasons, we need to consider that our emotions as an adult always comes along with a responsibility. But, why are we so afraid of love? For children, they simply love, there’s nothing more to it. They never think of tomorrow that their friends at school will be just simply a memory when they become adult. They just what they have today!
To be in love or to love is one of the most beautiful things in life, but sometimes, we are afraid of rejection, suffering or betrayal. And we never realize that everything passes even the rejection, suffering and betrayal. But when you are happy with being in love, no one can take that away from you.
They can easily adapt to change.
A new student came in our class recently and eventually, everything went okay. Children are really expert in embracing change. Isn’t it “change” always restore and improve our life?
They don’t worry about what others think or say.
While the young children are not bothered what others think or say, adults are too sensible of the people that surround them. We never think what we want, listen to our heart and act according to how we are.
They always get excited.
Children never stop getting excited about things and experiences that they have every day. Sadly, when they grow up, this tends to change. What if we never stop getting excited like a child over a new career, new love, a new friendship, your achievements (no matter how big or small it is), or the little things that happen every day.
They know what fun is and they have FUN.
Forget all the fears and prejudgment of what your negative thoughts tell you or other people will say about you. Fun is fun! Children enjoy themselves, laugh as hard as they could and have fun because they don’t mind what other people will say about them, even their teachers in the classroom – really (I’m smirking now…well)!
They express themselves honestly.
We often don’t speak freely, that is why sometimes other people get depressed. We are afraid of being rejected, our words or ideas will be turned down. We instead choose what to say what other people wanted to hear until we ended up not feeling good inside.
Like a child, it is liberating to express oneself honestly.
They don’t know everything.
As we all know that children are curious because they simply don’t know everything.
For adults, whether someone as a CEO, a teacher or even a parent, acknowledging of being naive in some sort of things actually makes your personal relationship stronger to other people where you can spend time listening and also improves your performance in whatever field you are working because you always want to learn and to improve.
They ask random questions and never felt afraid or embarrassed.
Sometimes we are afraid to ask questions because someone will criticize us, call us stupid or ignorant. But, not really! Asking question to other people shows humbleness and willingness to learn. So, go ahead, ask some questions!
They are RELAXED! They don’t force things.
The last but not the least, are you sometimes wondering why do these children seem so relaxed?
When children are tired, they sleep, everywhere. Sounds easy for them right? But too complicated for us. We tend to force things and ended up suffering with chronic stress. Just take a breath, there are things that cannot be controlled nor how people react to the things you do.As an author of this blog, I try to keep all the articles as positive as I could. It doesn’t matter to me how my articles will be well-accepted by everyone, what matters to me is, how I create a positive impact on my audience. And to be honest, I am not quite sure, too if I could follow these observations I got from my kids at school. But, why not? Let’s be a child again and never lose our passion to live life and enjoy!
**This article is simply based on what I had observed from my preschool students. I disclaim that as an adult, life will be as perfect as a child. This is just a recommendation and reminder while you are yet or now feeling gloomy or hopeless. Hope it does help.
How does this article resonate with you? Share your thoughts, leave a comment below!