So, you think that you’re in chaos now. I get it. Let me tell you this straight, you are not alone and there are many of us on the same page. *smile* CieloCielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia […]
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Is there a way to live well with hypothyroidism? Certainly, there are lots of ways to lead yourself an overall healthy lifestyle and that includes eating well and exercising. But, not only those, there are more things you can do to live […]
Certainly, there are lots of ways to lead yourself an overall healthy lifestyle and that includes eating well and exercising. But, not only those, there are more things you can do to live well with hypothyroidism.
Eat well and exercise!
Being diagnosed with hypothyroidism can make you feel exhausted and unenergetic. You will be most likely disoriented each day even when you are following your doctor’s prescribed medicine.
So, here are more ultimate lifestyle tips for you!
Eat healthy foods!
Hypothyroidism diet is not existing whether you will search it to every search engine that is existing up to know. But you should focus your meals around veggies, fruits, whole grains, lean protein, and healthy fats. Keep your energy levels stable, and eat small meals throughout the day.
Weight gain is a common symptom of hypothyroidism, so eating well can also help you maintain a healthy weight. Some foods (eg, high-fiber foods) and supplements (eg, iron, calcium) can affect how you absorb levothyroxine, so talk to your doctor about these foods and supplements.
Exercise regularly!
Exercise is good for everyone, and that includes you! But are you doing enough of it? Exercise can boost energy, decrease stress, and help you maintain a healthy weight (all important benefits, especially if you have hypothyroidism).
Work in the 3 types of exercises: aerobic (aka cardio), strengthening, and flexibility. Exercises to try:Walking, light weight lifting, and yoga. Talk to your doctor before trying a new exercise program.
Meditate and get a massage!
Why not give a try to get a massage? I love massage personally. I am doing this once or twice a month. you might ask yourself, ‘How can I relax when I have a million things to do?’ Well, it’s time to make yourself a priority.
Having a chronic disease—even if it’s being treated and monitored by your doctor—can be stressful. It can take a toll on your overall health. To combat stress, journal your weekly massage or schedule a daily 5-minute session of deep breathing or meditation.
Meditate. Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash
Go to bed early!
You normally feel tired throughout the day if you have hypothyroidism. By creating a sleep schedule and sticking to it can help you a lot. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day—including weekends. In general, the sweet spot for sleep is between 7 and 9 hours.
If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, talk to your doctor about other ways to help you drift off into dreamland.
The sad part with hypothyroidism, there is no cure for it. However, taking your medication in addition to integrate these lifestyle changes can help you lead a healthy life.
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Having cancer is like you are in official custody to be in a dark abyss. You may think that you are the most unfortunate person in the whole universe and started to ask yourself, “Why, me?” Having cancer means your whole body […]
Having cancer is like you are in official custody to be in a dark abyss. You may think that you are the most unfortunate person in the whole universe and started to ask yourself, “Why, me?”
Having cancer means your whole body is being attacked with a deadly cell that can kill you anytime. And not only that, while you are on a journey of your cancer treatment, it also distresses your mental and emotional well-being.
Yes, that’s what cancer does to a person.
First, your physical body will suffer, both internal and external. Second, because you found out that you have cancer, your anxiety level reaches to a maximum state that thinking every day that you have cancer will drive you insane! And the last, your emotions are not stable – people around you seem cannot understand you. You are acting ridiculous but in fact, all you want to happen is people can simply be there and more empathetic for you.
But this is impossible!
That’s what cancer can do to you, to us, and to your loved ones. It makes your daily life as dark as grey skies before a torrential rain will lash out. It makes you feel you are alone and no one is fighting for you. It makes you feel you are useless. It disables the goals once you planned before. Cancer is indeed a bitch. It will tear you down and drive you insane.
But you know what? You can actually do something –
Look for the stars.
While you are now in the middle of your battle with cancer, let me sum you up with these three practical ways so that you will not feel defeated and too exhausted. You need not to use all your strength in one day only just because you are keen to beat cancer right away! Do it – one step at a time. Do it – mindfully. Do it – slowly, steady and progressing.
Physique
We can only rely on our doctors who have been studying in the laboratory for years just to give you the appropriate treatment to cut the activity of your cancer cell in your body. See your doctor and cooperate what the treatment plans he made for you.
It’s time to give yourself back to nature. A healthy plant-based diet is not only a mere gossip or a myth. Nature is the greatest healer.
Sleep is very essential to our body. After all the hard work you did just to earn money for your needs and wants, and to be called “independent”, yet the sleep you must give to yourself was deprived, do it now. Try to regain the sleep once you lost, regain your sleep like that kind of sleep when you were a baby. There is nothing impossible to do that unless you are willing to try no matter how hard to start all over again. Just try.
Exercise regularly. Find out which kind of exercise that is easy for you to start. It needs not to be a strenuous one. A 30 minute-walk daily is essential to your physique, mind, and emotion.
Emotion
What we eat is what we are. The food that you are consuming can make you sick or can cure you. Why am I talking about food again? Other than to eat healthy during your cancer treatment, sometimes you can’t avoid cheat. But it’s a matter of choice! You can plan the meals that may help you feel better or you can have foods that can make you feel worse.
Validate your feelings. It is normal to have mood swings. The moment you feel happy now, the next moment after you feel sad. Feelings change from time to time, go through that exact feeling and let it go. Never extinguish or hide your emotions. You need to have an acceptance that you feel low, afraid or useless – you may need to talk about your feelings to a friend who can understand or just simply be alone and talk to yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice if you can do that each time you feel so low and anxious? Don’t wait when depression kicks in, sometimes it is too hard to tread the deep waters especially when you don’t know how to swim. Take a precaution before you dive in the depth of the depression.
Meditate or pray. I am not promoting you to follow a certain practice. Just do it – whether you want to practice meditation or pray directly to the highest. You can pray at the same time, meditate. Mediation appears to help tame your emotions which only you can do that. It is an internal task and you cannot rely on this to other people.
Mind
Our thoughts affect our emotions, the same way our emotions affect our thoughts. When someone had told you to trust your gut feeling, it is because your guts that found in your stomach are actually the second brain of your body. And these two organs are connected both physically and biochemically in a number of different ways. So, if you could effectively follow the practice I mentioned earlier in how to manage your emotion and which food you need to consume daily, you will be most likely a proactive mindset that can help you to make a better decision while you are on your cancer treatment.
Self-awareness is the key to a healthy mind. If you have good emotional health, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Coping up with your negative emotions during your cancer treatment is very helpful on the road to survival.
It is always a matter of choice.
When cancer gives you dark days, thrive to look for the stars. Don’t keep nagging and pitying yourself why you have to experience this kind of disease. You are only helping cancer cell to grow more aggressive. Cancer may make you weak each day, but try to use that small strength wisely.
Strive for resilience. Strive for a healthy lifestyle. Strive to thrive.
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Life is a series of moments called NOW. “Now, what?” What the hell I am going to do now? Have you already asked yourself like this? Surviving from any traumatic experiences, such as abuse (sexual, physical, or emotional), neglect, life-threatening accidents, separation, loss […]
Surviving from any traumatic experiences, such as abuse (sexual, physical, or emotional), neglect, life-threatening accidents, separation, loss of loved ones, and cancer — making a new beginning is never easy.
Let’s get more realistic and brief here.
Knowing that I am a cancer survivor, then I started my blog one year later, people may think that writing is the only way that helped me in overcoming these many traumatic experiences in my life before. The separation from my two kids, defamation about me on the internet, and of course, CANCER – they are all very traumatic. Does writing my journal really help me?
Not really.
The truth is, writing is only for a few people. And it’s most likely one of the things most people don’t want to do.
Why?
Writing a traumatic experience where you can express the truth within yourself and explore your deepest emotions might be not the right way for you to do. Because you will tend to be more emotional and won’t stop dwelling on the negative stuff and you will start to become very anxious. It will keep you stuck in your pain and distress and you will just make a bad situation even much worse.
Here are some quick tips what I did during the bleakest and darkest moment in my life. It’s the 5-month moment while I was dealing with my PTSD:
Have enough sleep.
After my radiation treatment, sleep is one of my worse enemies. I could not get enough sleep since I was still working at that time as a teacher. Little did I know that I was experiencing a PTSD where insomnia is one of the signs a person can experience where it usually begins after a series of traumatic events happened. There are many ways to improve our sleep, BUT the more natural you can cure your insomnia, the safer your health will be. The importance of sleep is the most essential thing you can do especially when you are facing such traumatic experiences that can affect your health.
Develop your self-compassion. Have you ever stopped and examine yourself, “When was the last time I was empathetic to myself?” Were you able to examine how yourself was suffering because of the destruction of other people has made you or cancer has brought to your life? Knowing that cancer has already inflicted you and give you so much pain physically, were you trying to be kind to yourself and look for solutions about not to being stuck in the isolation that cancer brings? Or you maybe experience another traumatic incident that makes you less, inadequate or a catastrophe. The more we focus on the events happened in the past, the more we make our self suffer. So how do we practice self-compassion? There are three important elements where you can show self-compassion towards yourself. Those are self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Self-kindness – from the word itself, just simply be kind to yourself. How? By simply start forgiving yourself before forgiving other people. Sounds difficult I know. I found it difficult, too. But that was before. When I finally learned how to forgive myself, I also learned how not to trigger my emotions especially when there unexpected nasty events might happen in my life up to now. Common humanity – embrace it. When you did it with compassion, it does literally mean “to suffer with”. Okay, you may be suffering now; adding to that, “to suffer with”, how can you possibly do that? First of all, having a painful experience is not your fault. You have cancer and you ask yourself “Why, me?” Or you maybe lose your job and start self-pity with yourself and getting jealous of other people. Stop and examine again yourself. Have compassion to yourself and be more understanding and less judgemental about your incompetence, imperfection or being unhealthy. Never attack yourself in a negative way unless you don’t love – YOU (yourself).Mindfulness – validate your emotions, whenever you feel happy, claim it! When your sad, angry – feel them! If you fight the emotions and deny for owning them, there is a great possibility of increasing your emotional distress, especially. So, why should you be so harsh to yourself when you can be actually really nice and yourself will thank you back if you allow yourself to be sensible.
Put yourself back together (one more time).
Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and “What am I going to do now?” Another way to examine yourself is to discover again who you are and exploring how can you start all over again – ALONE. Yes, no one can help you put yourself back together. There’s only YOU can do that.
By doing this “what now” moment, it does mean that yourself needs a timeout and reset.
Take a holiday, do something different or you haven’t done for years, stop pretending you are okay, do some yoga or meditation. There are many ways you can do where you deserve to have.
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
A man shouting for freedom from pain. Photo courtesy by Tony Rojas on Unsplash We all fall down. Whether we are healthy or not, rich or poor, young or old. There are times that we have to fall lower than we have ever […]
A man shouting for freedom from pain. Photo courtesy by Tony Rojas on Unsplash
We all fall down.
Whether we are healthy or not, rich or poor, young or old.
There are times that we have to fall lower than we have ever been, to stand up taller than we ever were.
There are times we need to rise up by ourselves and live the reality that there is no back up coming along the way.
Sometimes,
We have to fall down,
Alone.
And realize that…
Falling down is a part of someone’s life, to rise up is life.
Life can be explained in many ways.
Its definition is vague.
Yet, one thing that it is clear — in life we need to go through some pain.
Do you think that killing yourself would be a permanent solution to a temporary problem?
Stop giving up hope.
And start giving in to life’s biggest risk.
It is enriching our life.
It is in fact much more rewarding.
Will you choose to take the risk?
We all make choices.
You have a choice each and every single day.
And everything we do in life is done by the choices we make.
Whatever happened in our life is the by-product of the choices we’ve made.
Some consequences bring sheer bliss.
Some pain.
Pain…
You have cancer.
You are hoping for the best while planning for the worst.
Sometimes this too much pain we don’t even want to tell everyone, even our loved ones, friends, or doctors.
It steals our happiness.
It steals our hair, money, family, pleasure in life that puts us up to anxiety, depression, hopelessness, our ability to do well and accomplish our task or unable to make a good decision.
Please, try to understand the pain we feel.
You may never fathom how intense and agonizing we may feel.
Just be there.
Whether you can’t utter any words from your mouth. You will perfectly express the right words at the right time.
Your silence is enough.
Your presence is enough.
Your actions can have a huge impact on a mundane life I am now going through.
Know that this pain not only hurts physically, it also leads to depression, isolation, or anxiety.
But…
There’s hope.
We know.
We need time.
We need time to reduce this pain and rebuild ourselves.
We also want to live a normal life like you.
We know we have hope despite the pain.
Hope is something we desire and expect with.
Like you, we want to have a chance to be normal like you…
We were once a normal person with a job.
We were once a normal person who loves to watch TV, go out and meet some friends.
We were once a normal person who thinks life is perfectly fine.
Until one day,
We started to learn new words such as metastatic or sarcoma.
We spend our time in the hospital or in our bedroom.
We still want to have a normal life despite all of this.
Raise our own kids, grow old and see our grandkids, too.
We want a chance to be just like you.
Who can still make more achievements as you do?
Sometimes, we wish to want back what cancer took away.
Like you, we want to feel our lives have a purpose…
Having a purpose in life seems impossible for us who endures chronic pain with a chronic illness.
Yet hope has given us to find our life’s purpose.
Having hope may endure the misery of our treatment.
That we many able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You can give us your definitions of hope.
We always expect good things that are yet to be — to achieve our desired goal.
And find meaning in our family, friends and even in my cancer experience.
We never truly know another’s pain carry, until then…
We find a new level of value to life itself.
By simply making a choice to stop and smell the plumeriawe see along the road.
By looking up to see the color of the sky when the sun is setting.
By listening to the sound of raindrops.
By admiring someone’s kindness.
By feeding stray animals.
By appreciating someone’s unexpected help.
In doing this, we find more meaning in life…
We try to understand the greater purpose or reason behind this illness and what it means to our life now.
We try to explore more feelings about cancer and how I react to every pain I feel daily.
We try to identify that cancer should, in fact, a life-changing experience that makes us wanted to understand more about the effect of this illness in my life.
Suddenly a gradual change in our interest and priorities that used to be not important before our cancer.
It brings means to understand our lives and to find a way of healing — within.
Until such time,
We allow ourselves to feel the pain instead of hiding it.
We embrace pain and burden to fuel our journey to a new normal life.
We accept this experience that will help us find and go through to the detoxifying vitality of life — that leads us to one of the rightful things that can occur to us in our lives, if…
…we let it in.
“We hide the pain in the weirdest places
Broken souls with smiling faces
Fighting for surrender
For now and the after, yeah
Just look around and you’ll see that people
Are scared to say how they really feel
Oh, we all need a little honesty”
Disclaimer:
Chronic pain is one of the hardest battles of any person that endures chronic illness. Having a positive life for most people who experience excruciating pain every day — seems impossible, but this may take time to reverse what we expect the least. Some may be able to win this battle against chronic pain, some may give up. The author somehow wanted to extend a great hope for everyone, especially for those who are now experiencing great pain. And to let everyone knows that killing oneself is not the option of a hope offered in life.
Have you had any loved ones who now keep battling to beat the pain? They deserve to have a life brighten up — not to live with the dark.
If so, please share with us! Leave a comment below!
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Human contact cannot be overestimated! This was the exact sentence from another cancer survivor to me in one of the fora in the social media where we share experiences and victories. I shared my latest blog, a letter to my friend whose […]
This was the exact sentence from another cancer survivor to me in one of the fora in the social media where we share experiences and victories.
I shared my latest blog, a letter to my friend whose cancer is back right after her second surgery with her recurrence tumor in the thyroid in the same forum I mentioned earlier and received very helpful comments afterward.
“Please take some time to go see her even if all you do is sit and hold her hand.”
“If you can, go and cry with her. Then talk, then cry some more, then encourage her that you will be there. In spirit if not always in body. If you can only text or write, that’s okay. Just tell her she is not alone and you will stay to whatever the end is, whenever it is. Then do it. It’ll make all the difference for her and you. Let her know, she can say anything. You won’t leave.”
These are the first two bits of advice I received from one of the most courageous people across the globe.
Their words are powerful to help another, to encourage another.
Similarly with what Karla Kay said during our previous interview,
“Until you hear those 3 words, you have no idea how you would handle anything!”
True! Even the three little word – CANCER – is powerful to devastate our world. However, this word will just be a trifle with the powerful words of those people surrounded by someone has cancer.
Someone that is ready to answer without making the understanding difficult.
People need people.
An approval, comfort, or encouragement from other people is vital to human health, both mentally and physically. With the help of social interaction, people can express their feelings and share their problems with other people.
Not just any social support, it must be a good social support that can help someone coping with stress, major life changes (like divorce, moving house, migrating, and so on…) or chronic illnesses.
It has been proved by many researchers and studies that the most lonely people more often are afflicted with health and mental problems such as cardiovascular problem, stress, anxiety, and depression.
“No man is an island.”
Just like what the famous proverb goes, “No man is an island”. Knowing that we are being thought of and valued by few people who are close to us is an essential psychological factor in helping us to ignore the negative aspects of our lives, and thinking more positively about our environment.
Friends and family are there to reduce the stress that we are enduring that can boost our confidence and gives us great motivation not to give up easily.
Having said that, in the reality of life, there are some circumstances that we cannot always expect a great encouragement from our friends and family.
Instead, these are the people we expect the least.
They are the ones who unselfishly keeping us the fight toward the victory.
They are once strangers in our life which turns into someone we can always run to.
However…
Not all of us have the toughness to open our hearts and share our feelings and problems.
Not all of us have the courage to be upfront to share our raw feelings.
There are people who find it difficult to process their feelings and communicate to others, yet they are still misunderstood.
More so, the lack of interaction of these kinds of people can negatively lead to first signs of depression and anxiety.
Don’t waste your time.
Whenever you know someone who is suffering from life-threatening conditions such as cancer, a strong human connection can help the recovery and even enhance the quality of their life, which is very important for a seriously ill or mentally unhealthy person.
If you know one, go and make them feel that they should not be alone carrying all the burdens they are bearing.
You’ll never tell how you can improve their well-being that affects their immune system as well.
Your words and actions can be a great moment of truth for them.
It is never too late to do anything if you start doing it now. Especially, helping someone in the core of deep sadness.
Have you made yourself a great influence and positive impact on someone’s life? Have you been part of someone else’s turning point in life? Have you brightened up their dark days? Have you snatched them out from the abyss of loneliness?
If so, please share with us! Leave a comment below!
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
My thoughts… are just everywhere. I could not even focus. My mind is blinded, racing, and beating right out of my chest. I had been diagnosed with cancer, I followed all the treatments. Now, I’m back home, I can go back to […]
My thoughts… are just everywhere. I could not even focus. My mind is blinded, racing, and beating right out of my chest.
I had been diagnosed with cancer, I followed all the treatments. Now, I’m back home, I can go back to work.
I am not even sure if I will miss my old before my cancer. I embraced my cancer, but I am not living with cancer.
Oh, so you’re still alive, how unfortunate are you!
You are wrong.
Cancer sucks and so as anxiety or depression.
Wait… depression? Don’t get me wrong. I am referring to depression that is more common for everyone even for those people who don’t have cancer.
Depression is not the same as clinical depression. But, if you just let yourself go deeper into different symptoms of depression, you will be more likely stuck in major depression.
To be honest, if you are gonna ask me how I’m doing, it is a question that I just really want to give a reply.
But if I won’t reply, you will misunderstand me and you will start to drift apart.
Do you think it is easy to answer this question for a cancer survivor? Because you know what? For a cancer survivor like me, I choose not to talk about my cancer and allow me to live my new life with the same people who used to surround me.
Oh, yes, I got it. Some of you will not eventually stay, well, this is my new life!
We choose not to talk about our cancer because this is one of the ways we can cope easily.
You may think that I give up, well, it’s the only way to survive.
I prefer to stop thinking about my cancer, meet new friends, go somewhere I have never been and do things I have never done.
**In one of my research results reveals that depression is more common for people with cancer who often struggle with uncertainty, challenges, and fear that a cancer diagnosis can bring.
According to Cancer.net, depression is a collection of symptoms that group into 4 categories: mood-related, cognitive, physical and behavioral. Because cancer and cancer treatment can cause similar cognitive and physical symptoms as depression. More emphasis is placed on the mood-related and behavioral symptoms for people with cancer.
What are the symptoms?
Mood-related symptoms: feelings of sadness, hopelessness, irritability, numbness, or worthlessness.
Cognitive symptoms: they are related to a person’s thought process, it decreases the ability to concentrate, difficulty making decisions, memory problems, and negative thoughts (severe depression can include thoughts of suicide).
Behavioral symptoms: crying often, social withdrawal, loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed and a loss of motivation.
So what are the common ways doctors treat people with depression (the first 2 points can be done carefully even without doctor’s endorsement)?
Emotional and social support can help people better cope with the daily challenges that cancer brings.
Main treatments are counseling and medication (sometimes both, but must be done by a qualified doctor).
Talk with a counselor or a right person/friend (for mild depression).
The main goal of counseling is to enhance coping in problem-solving skills, help find support and reshape negative self-defeating thoughts.
There are numbers of counseling options: individual counseling, couples or family counseling and group counseling.
The following are just the inescapable facts of everyone’s life that we cannot change.
You may not have cancer but you are in pain. It may not every day like how a cancer patient feels but it is clear that we cannot stay away from sadness, worthlessness, or anxiety.
Suffering, regardless, it is something that we can be in charge of. We always have the option to stay happy than to be stuck in an utterable turmoil of depression or anxiety.
And only you can do that. Your friends and families’ support is more than enough but it’s useless if you already made a choice inside. And that is, to be filled with sadness and negativities.
It is not easy, being happy does not happen in just one snap, but if you are decided after making a choice to turn your life upside-down.
You can see the beauty of the process of taming your brain’s emotional response. Whatever life throws at you, you will always keep returning to a conscious and mindful state of mind. And you will be able to recognize your emotions within yourself and even in others and to manage them daily.
Any thoughts you want to share regarding your struggle and struggle with anxiety and depression?
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Back from those days where I was afraid to deal with anything real until I’ve got to face a painful reality that I could not really imagine how to deal with. What’s a painful reality? That I — am sick, alone, and […]
Back from those days where I was afraid to deal with anything real until I’ve got to face a painful reality that I could not really imagine how to deal with.
What’s a painful reality? That I — am sick, alone, and dying — anytime soon!
Hearing those three little words, “You have cancer” makes me confused and scared that I could not bear to tell anyone.
Back from those days where I — was — a person who cannot tame my brain’s emotional response. Where in every positive or negative pitch life has given, I usually tend to react where I tend to judge either myself or other people and make a comparison from everyone that surrounds me or even to myself.
Now, that I had come to realize that I needed to claim this. This was very hard. For how many times I need to deal with myself, I have to claim my cancer. I have to accept this painful reality.
Accepting this painful reality of having cancer, another painful reality arises. Where anxiety, depression, sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness are limitless and uncontrollable.
Being diagnosed with cancer and a crisis management in dealing emotions and stress are both closely associated with each other.
Six months of treatment, from my surgical removal to acupuncture (6 sessions) and the last was radiation therapy (35 sessions).
Of all these treatments I had gone through, the surgery — it did not only cut my skin and left a scar but also cut me off from certain friends or even family members. The acupuncture — it did not only stabbed my body with needles and left blood in certain areas of my body but also stabbed my heart for this is not the life I was expecting. The radiation therapy — it did not only burn my skin but also burned my soul. I feel like I was already doomed to death — but, I have to suffer first!
Now, treatment was done, and everyone thought, “I’m okay”! Everyone thought that I was so fortunate that I was able to beat cancer!
Yes — my battle with cancer was done. But, the battle with depression has continued.
Well, even I — I thought I was okay, too. Until then, I went back to Vietnam after my treatment in the Philippines. I felt so sorry and embarrassed whenever friends and colleagues tell me each time they meet me that I lose weight. You know what’s more annoying? When they did not tell me those the same words, once — in fact, twice, thrice or umpteenth times! No matter how I convince them I was okay and I am just coping, there are still those people who get on my nerves.
So there you see, my reaction after those people keep telling me how I lose weight, or worse is I still look “sick”.
I was even confused how to act being tough whenever I was pounded with negative questions people were asking me for being mentally strong.
Until I realized that I have to stay away from these people, try to manage my emotions and learn how to understand, accept, and manage my feelings first.
For 5 months, after I was able to go back to Vietnam, I tried to cut off some people from my circle. Though things did not go well as I wish to happen, with perseverance, I was able to deal the rollercoaster ride and started being mindful and managed my emotions especially when it is in crisis.
For 5 months, I learned deeper about guided imagery. It is a mental imagery process where sometimes it is commonly called as guided meditation, visualization, mental rehearsal, and guided-hypnosis. Where it follows the usual process: the correct posture (vertical position, either sitting on a chair or a floor or lying down on a bed), eyes closed and breathing.
I have been doing this for almost 5 months — quietly. I started doing this after I did some research and I decided to make this practice a part of coping with my cancer journey.
As I continue doing the practice of guided imagery, it taught me about being mindful and non-reactive to every situation I might put up with.
Mindfulness — knowing what is going on at the moment. Being present with the “now” instead of looking back to the past or being anxious to the present.
Non-reaction where it helps me to deepen the connection I have with myself especially to my emotions. Whatever may happen in my surroundings it is up to me if I will react or not. Whether it could be positive or negative.
Well, I don’t mean that if I am very grateful for someone’s good deed towards me, I will not show a euphoric feeling at that very moment. Of course, I must show my appreciation in order to continue a good relationship with anyone I am connected with.
It is necessary to remember as well to make everything in balanced whether it could be a good or bad experience. Our life is constantly changing. And if we are not able to control how we react, an attachment is connected to our emotions and without being aware of, we already place expectations to the other person.
And when we seeded expectations, that someone who used to make you happy at some point will make you upset and disappointed. Eventually, it will create a negative impact and the separation from others who you used to be closed with begins. Either they will stop talking, create a space in between and keep a distance from you or worse get into an argument. And these are not healthy and helpful for someone who is coping with cancer treatment.
Each one of us is responsible for the way we react to different life’s circumstances, so instead of reacting, we may shift this into a response that is able for you or me to create a more balanced state of conscious and non-reactive mind.
That is why we meditate. We breathe in as we feel the tension, and breathe out to release that tension.
Likewise, if there is any negative pitch had thrown to me, I choose to stay positive and move forward.
Now, when I am being asked randomly, why I am so calm now to any circumstances I am facing. Well, I am doing this for myself first because I respect and honor my body and second to take care each relationship I am involved to anyone around me, whether it could be a colleague, friend or family.
I am just a human being, sometimes I missed to remind myself to be mindful and non-reactive.
Although I had already learned enough from practicing this guided imagery and benefitted positive result from it, there are also times that I get anxious, sad or hopeless.
But the only good thing is, with enough information how guided imagery has helped me cope with my cancer journey, it is always there to remind me to pause or stop whenever I was in the state of negativity or toxicity.
Disclaimer:
This article is only a testimony how guided imagery works (especially guided meditation) for the author while she was coping with her cancer journey. According to one of her research results, one of the articles from cancer.net, had indicated that as many as 15-25% of people with cancer experience depression and it is more common for people with cancer who often struggle with uncertainty, challenges and fear that a cancer diagnosis can bring. And she is hoping that this article might give some convincing impression that can convey them that this practice can help identify and manage their emotions while facing cancer treatment and will not add to the burden of battling cancer.
There are other ways to treat and manage the rising crisis of emotions. Stay tuned, for this will be the next article soon.
Any thoughts you want to add from your own experience regarding with the practice of guided imagery?
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
It’s just the way that you’re feeling now. It might just change somehow. So, I was inspired today to write this article about feelings. After publishing two more interviews recently, I always think to offset from one blog to another. Like after […]
It’s just the way that you’re feeling now. It might just change somehow.
So, I was inspired today to write this article about feelings. After publishing two more interviews recently, I always think to offset from one blog to another. Like after writing a kind of downcast personal story, another lighthearted article must follow. I don’t want my audience to feel so abounding by keep bringing out survivors’ story.
So how did I come up with this topic? I was in the middle of my class with my preschool students and played a YouTube video about emotions. I was caught up between the lyrics of the song, which of course I am gonna share some parts of the lyrics with you.
I’m happy, she’s mad. I’m a boy, she’s a girl. And this is the world. I’m hungry, he’s thirsty. I’m sick, and he’s tired. He’s a boy, I’m a girl. And this is the world.
You get happy, you get sad. You get angry, you get mad. You go to bed, then you wake up. You might be just OK. It’s just the way that you’re feeling now. Wait a while. It might just change somehow.
It’s just the way that you’re feeling. The feeling may be fleeting. Here’s one second then it’s gone. We’re feeling feelings every day. We’re experiencing emotions along the way. Some are good and some are bad. Some wish you never had.
But, hey! That’s just the way we’ve got to play.
If all of us could realize, how amazing the ability of the children to extend their hope to every adult, their happiness, and their potential to adapt to change with ease. These children have the desire to live, to know and they are the perfect example of daily entertainment.
As a preschool teacher, I had witnessed how my adorable kids in the classroom manage to alter a negative feeling into a positive one. When someone gets angry, a simple hug could easily relieve their feelings. There are so many lessons to learn from them, if you just could realize this, you might wish to go back to being a little more like them!
I list down some keen observation about my preschool students for a year that we are together:
None of them are afraid of new happenings.
Have you ever felt sorry about the things that you are supposed to do but never did it ever? Don’t let yourself get caught with the phrase “what if…”. It’s always better to regret what you’ve done than what you haven’t done. It’s always better to fail than to doubt.
They are always curious.
Newton was curious and discovered gravity. Well, we don’t have to be like Newton, though. But being curious about learning new things like the children do leads towards self-fulfillment. Discovering new places to visit is one, for example.
Carpe Diem!
In other words, seize the day! Children don’t let the moment slip away; instead, they take advantage of each moment.
Take advantage of the good times, the bad ones will change somehow. The next day will be fine. Live, enjoy and take advantage of your time!
When you are sick or lost a loved one, you might notice how much time you took for granted. Everything is moving quickly and we should be aware of that.
They love fearlessly.
The older we get, the more scared we are to fall in love. Well, maybe for some reasons, we need to consider that our emotions as an adult always comes along with a responsibility. But, why are we so afraid of love? For children, they simply love, there’s nothing more to it. They never think of tomorrow that their friends at school will be just simply a memory when they become an adult. They just what they have today!
To be in love or to love is one of the most beautiful things in life, but sometimes, we are afraid of rejection, suffering or betrayal. And we never realize that everything passes even the rejection, suffering and betrayal. But when you are happy with being in love, no one can take that away from you.
They can easily adapt to change.
A new student came into our class recently and eventually, everything went okay. Children are really expert in embracing change. Isn’t it “change” always restore and improve our life?
They don’t worry about what others think or say.
While the young children are not bothered by what others think or say, adults are too sensible of the people that surround them. We never think what we want, listen to our heart and act according to how we are.
They always get excited.
Children never stop getting excited about things and experiences that they have every day. Sadly, when they grow up, this tends to change. What if we never stop getting excited like a child over a new career, new love, a new friendship, your achievements (no matter how big or small it is), or the little things that happen every day.
They know what fun is and they have FUN.
Forget all the fears and prejudgment of what your negative thoughts tell you or other people will say about you. Fun is fun! Children enjoy themselves, laugh as hard as they could and have fun because they don’t mind what other people will say about them, even their teachers in the classroom – really (I’m smirking now…well)!
They express themselves honestly.
We often don’t speak freely, that is why sometimes other people get depressed. We are afraid of being rejected, our words or ideas will be turned down. We instead choose what to say what other people wanted to hear until we ended up not feeling good inside.
Like a child, it is liberating to express oneself honestly.
They don’t know everything.
As we all know that children are curious because they simply don’t know everything.
For adults, whether someone as a CEO, a teacher or even a parent, acknowledging of being naive in some sort of things actually makes your personal relationship stronger to other people where you can spend time listening and also improves your performance in whatever field you are working because you always want to learn and to improve.
They ask random questions and never felt afraid or embarrassed.
Sometimes we are afraid to ask questions because someone will criticize us, call us stupid or ignorant. But, not really! Asking question to other people shows humbleness and willingness to learn. So, go ahead, ask some questions!
They are RELAXED! They don’t force things.
The last but not the least, are you sometimes wondering why do these children seem so relaxed?
When children are tired, they sleep, everywhere. Sounds easy for them right? But too complicated for us. We tend to force things and ended up suffering from chronic stress. Just take a breath, there are things that cannot be controlled nor how people react to the things you do. As an author of this blog, I try to keep all the articles as positive as I could. It doesn’t matter to me how my articles will be well-accepted by everyone, what matters to me is, how I create a positive impact on my audience. And to be honest, I am not quite sure, too if I could follow these observations I got from my kids at school. But, why not? Let’s be a child again and never lose our passion to live life and enjoy!
**This article is simply based on what I had observed from my preschool students. I disclaim that as an adult, life will be as perfect as a child. This is just a recommendation and reminder while you are yet or now feeling gloomy or hopeless. Hope it does help.
How does this article resonate with you? Share your thoughts, leave a comment below!
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Try to examine yourself now. Are every word, action, and energy go straight to your heart? What about when you make mistakes, can you easily know it, feel it and you feel like tearing yourself apart? Now imagine this, your sibling, parent, […]
Try to examine yourself now. Are every word, action, and energy go straight to your heart? What about when you make mistakes, can you easily know it, feel it and you feel like tearing yourself apart?
Now imagine this, your sibling, parent, friend or any special person in your life has got cancer. And as cancer affects their physical health, it also leads to exhaustive and diverse feelings. Most of them are negative emotions and they’re not used to be dealing with. These feelings change from time to time, every second and every minute.
But, let me tell you this. All the feelings of our loved one that has cancer or recovered from cancer are all normal. And also, even yours!
We all grew up in diverse ways on how to cope up trials and troubles, just as much how we think about dealing with cancer. Some feel they have to be strong and protect their friends and families. Some seek support and turn to loved ones or other cancer survivors, but it doesn’t mean they are weak enough not to show strength from within. They prefer listening to their experiences and struggles and how they were able to get up. Some ask for help from counselors or other professionals. And some, turn to their faith to help them cope.
The task of deciding whether to keep fighting the battle or just give up is overwhelming as we are able to see or experience cancer. Whatever each patient and survivor decide, the most important to do what’s right for them, without judging and comparing oneself to others.
If you find yourself in this circumstances, you could be a carer, health practitioner, friend or a family, you must understand the different feelings someone close to you that has cancer or recovering from cancer.
Overwhelmed
The first time I learned that I have cancer, I felt as if my life was out of control. And this is true for everyone. Exact feelings and thoughts. Why?
We wonder if we’re going to live or how long we might live.
Our normal schedules were shattered by treatments, doctor appointments and lots of questions unanswered clouded our head.
We feel like we can’t enjoy the things we used to do or the things we are about to do.
We feel hopeless and lonely.
Denial
During my first diagnosis, I was very skeptic about the fact of having a tumor inside my body. I started blaming external circumstances happened around me. They could be those people that had brought negative energy to my life or a careless lifestyle that I didn’t see it coming and had brought me cancer. Having cancer was one of the things I never wish to come in my life. So, it was hard to accept the fact, that I will be getting cancer or I have cancer.
Anger
I stopped talking to the people who are close to me, I feel so angry and ask myself, “Why me?” All those times, I felt so guilty when I feel mad at people around me and even to myself, but little I did know that it is okay to be angry. Because this anger helps me to motivate myself to take an action. Eventually, I turn to the right people to talk about my anger.
Fear and Worry
The word “tumor” had already scared me to death even before it was confirmed that it was already cancer. There are many things suddenly flashes in my mind that made me afraid and worried.
I will not be able to do my future plans.
How much pain will I feel and how long will it last.
Paying my bills.
Keeping my job.
Death.
HOPE
In the middle of the fight, I came to the point that I have to profess, accept, and be honest with myself that I have cancer. So, that’s it. What should we do? You had it. Whining can’t help you beat that cancer. So as fear, worry, anger, denial and being overwhelmed.
Once you accept the fact that you have cancer, you feel the sense of hope. In fact, there are many reasons to feel hopeful. It doesn’t mean, you got cancer, you will die anytime soon. There are thousands and millions of cancer survivors around the globe that are still alive today and that includes me, you, your friend or loved one.
Some doctors even think that “hope” may help your body deal with cancer. Scientists nowadays are studying whether a hopeful attitude and positive approaches to any problems help people feel better. Researchers even study the Science of Forgiveness can bring tremendous health and social benefits.
So let’s encourage them to build their sense of hope:
Continue to plan their days as what they used to do. (Yes, I did this the exact way.)
Don’t limit the things they like to do just because they have cancer. (People have cancer are not useless.)
Look for some reasons to have hope. (I started journaling my journey with cancer and eventually started blogging last year. Creativity helps to build hope from the inside.)
Spend time in nature. (After my radiation therapy, I shut the world and stop meeting people and bring my book to the park, read and watch people. It helps for 5 months.)
Leaving you this bulleted list in just one simple sentence. I do look forward you can resonate with every word and keep moving on every day. Nothing is static and everything changes. We only need to be flexible with these crazy changes and accept what we cannot change instead of on dwelling and wait to die.
Cielo Superticioso, is the author of The Cancer Voice Asia created last August 2017. Cielo focuses on the remarkable benefits of sharing her story and uses her own journey as a means to help you with yours.
Try to examine yourself now. Are every word, action, and energy go straight to your heart? What about when you make mistakes, can you easily know it, feel it and you feel like tearing yourself apart?