Incorrectly blame someone for breaking your valuable belonging. Accuse a friend without having all the facts. Mad at your sibling without understanding why despite he or she does stupid things all the time. We are all guilty of this – jumping to conclusions. These are just some of the unhelpful and unhealthy thinking styles that need to be thwarted.
- Blaming others or circumstances in “self-defense” is, in fact, an act of self-harm. Toxic alert: it is our human nature to want to assign blame. Whereas, if you are determined to stop blaming others; eventually, you’ll proactively seek the truth about yourself. Let’s just make this simple. Everyone makes mistakes and it could be harmful to oneself or to others. But if we start practicing how to be transparent and responsible for everyone’s actions, including yours, you will learn both peace and joy from within. So, in case you’ll ever meet blamers, notice these two: the one who is a game player (blaming deliberately in order to discredit others) and the one who are losers (they blame to cover their faults).
- Predicting negative futures in terms of what is going to happen. That’s so stupid. You are ruining your present because you are anxious about your future! And here comes the future, you are crying for remembering your past. AWARENESS – despite having a rough day, feel the heartbeat in your chest, you’re still alive for a reason. Just simply don’t give up. Let not the past not the future overthrow the power of the present moment. Everyone makes mistakes, you can’t stop doing that, but it allows you to learn from them.
- Mistaking emotions for facts. Your emotions affect your health. The way you think affects your health, too. Think twice! Go with your gut, you’ll probably get signals from your second brain. When you feel no longer in control of your body, you become stressed and anxious and even felt sick. Notice what’s happening in your stomach, it has the connections to your brain, emotional health, and your immune system. When you allow emotion to overrule logic, it is where we mostly make mistakes – big or small. Emotions don’t tell the truth, nor last forever. No matter how angry, excited or in love you are at the moment; eventually, another emotion will take place. Emotions are not facts. Sometimes, they could be powerful and they feel just like “the truth”. What to do instead? Recognize the emotion and feel it. You cannot get rid of it because they serve important survival functions in your life. Accept your emotions as they arise.
- Personalizing a stressful situation when we feel depressed. You mean, you try to repair every stressful situation – SOLO? Why not travel solo? You can do anything but not everything. Instead of dealing with stress, start with adjusting your attitude first. In other words, do not believe the things you tell yourself when you are sad and alone. You may be hurting now, but always keep in mind that pain is temporary. It will eventually subside and another else will take place. Make sure to replace it with happiness and peacefulness that starts from within.
If you happen to read the book “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert Sapolsky, you’ll see the comparison between them and humans. Like us, zebras have the same fight, flight, or freeze response; but, they respond only to immediate threats and then relax once the threat is over. Humans, however, respond to immediate threats and worry about future threats. The inability of humans to return to a relaxed state following a stressor has many health consequences.
Why not be like a zebra? Why not think healthy to nourish your body? Why not now?
My name is Cielo, the author of “The Cancer Voice Asia”, a blog that aims to support and inspire anyone who is facing cancer. I know how it feels to be diagnosed with a rare and aggressive type of cancer, Leiomyosarcoma, at the age of 29. I know the challenges, the fears, the hopes, and the joys of living with cancer. I want to share my story with you and connect you with others who understand what you are going through. Together, we can empower ourselves and fight against the disease. Join me on this platform and let’s make our healing journey a meaningful one.